I guess my ovaries have not shrunk to the size where my brain has turned to dust like SOME of my gal pals. Not that they aren’t entitled to their opinion but for the love of Gawd, some of the things that are said make me run screaming into the night!

With an election that is being dragged through the states as slow as, well as the Democratic Presidential election, things are bound to be said but the Hillary bashing—from a bunch of old broads who have and who HAVE had bellies and butts and sagging flesh— doesn’t seem right.

I mean, there are lost of reasons NOT to vote for her but the size of her ass? Are you effing kidding me?

Maybe Hillary isn’t obsessive about her size and that causes my friends to worry. She’s got time to think about what needs to be done and come up with ways to accomplish those goals because she’s not spending all her time thinking about her weight and exercising to the exclusion of everything else in her life. She’s not obsessing about how many calories are in everything she eats and  maybe she doesn’t meet society’s (American) image of the ideal woman. But these women— who by the way, make me wonder if the loss of their hormones have made them brittle in the brain— are an embarrassment to women’s liberation.

Jesus, it’s been days since this conversation and I’m still sick from it. Heaven forbid they should read more than the UT and should have to actually think or research anything, which might actually expand their minds and their horizons and get over their silly prejudices.

The other comments I will forgive, but to hate Hillary because she might be a size 12 is enough to make me want to eat a pound of butter.

Pass the Xanax please, for these are my friends.

COUPLES GUIDE TO BETTER SEX OVER 40

Really!

Now that the two-week hormonal roller coaster complete with water-filled rolls of gut-fat, gas, itching, out-of-the blue-hysterics and easy drunky-ness has come to a temporary end, I believe I’ll be “having  What she’s having!”  And you better make it quick. Who knows how long this urge will last? I truly believe that the only thing stopping the sex in this house is the baby—the 26-year-old that has moved home. Puts a little crimp on watching porn!

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

Item of the day:

Enjoy the best sex of your life after 40

From the bestselling Better Sex Video Library comes this 2-volume instructional video set to help couples over 40 keep their sex lives exciting and fulfilling. It will show you how maturity can enhance and reinvigorate sexual relationships. Vol. 1 teaches techniques to make and keep desire strong. Vol. 2 addresses in-depth physical issues, including great sex with back pain or post mastectomy or heart attack. Each volume is approx. 60 minutes. DVD or VHS. Compare at $49.90 if each purchased separately.

In 1970 Dr. Edgar Berman said women’s hormones during menstruation and menopause could have a detrimental influence on women’s decision making. In the 1980s, PMS was the reason used for a woman who deliberately killed a man. In England, the PMS defense freed Christine English after she confessed to killing her boyfriend by deliberately ramming him into a utility pole with her car; and after killing a co-worker, Sandie Smith was put on probation – with one condition: she must report monthly for injections of progesterone to control symptoms of PMS. By the 1990s, the PMS defense paved the way for other hormonal defenses.

PRODUCT OF THE DAY: XANAX. Oh sure, you can have your Cohash and your St John’s Wort but in the end, they’re pussy’s against the PMS. When your 20-something child moves home, your brother-in-laws can’t sign a legal document without 6 meetings and your worried about paying the bills, Xanax is THE ANSWER. Now I just have to get me some!

It’s a new month- thank Gawd!

Last month was horrific as far as the crazy ‘ second half of life’ was concerned.

First the CAT scan only showed how poor I am after the doc sent me a bill for $700. And that’s after Blue Cross chipped in. Then my body broke out into some crazy rash making my face puffy and red and my butt looked like a baboon’s ass. Not pretty on a 50 year old woman, trust me. My stomach was pissed at me and well…did I leave anything out? As my friend Julie asked me…”What are you dying of today?”

So far nothing, I can happily report except for some crankiness which is normal. And the stress due to the housing situation…mine mainly, but other than that, no harrassment from the hormones.

I had a week of socializing with other friends of a certain age and didn’t drink too much or eat the wrong foods, so I’ve got that going for me. Everyone looked great and I felt kind of old but what the hell. I forgot about it due to my ADD,  which is a wonderful part of the condition they forget to tell you about. But we had FUN!!!! No whining today!

PRODUCT OF THE DAY: Good Vibrations— a well-established sexuality product retailer based in San Francisco, California. For almost 30 years, their business has been driven by their Mission Statement:

“Good Vibrations is a diverse, woman-focused retailer providing access to sex-positive products and accurate sex information through our clean and comfortable stores, catalog, and web site in order to enhance our customers’ sex lives and to promote healthy attitudes about sex.”

It’s all that talk with my G-friends about hubby’s and men and I’m just in the mood for this place.

http://www.goodvibes.com/